Staying Motivated is Hard….

•September 30, 2015 • 1 Comment

Well guys, I have so far stuck to my guns and have made a point to take time out for me and make sure I hit the gym. Today is my fourth day in, and I can honestly say that things feel a bit different then when I was in my early 20’s doing this kind of stuff. I know some of you are sitting there going “come on Christina, you’re being a little dramatic.” BUT its true, maybe it’s because I haven’t stuck to the martial arts (who knows) BUT I’m not as flexible as I once remember. I feel stiff, I’m sure that’s a mixture of not being a the gym and not doing anything mms related for… probably over a few years now really! 

Okay enough with the pity party about getting old.. let’s talk about the gym!

Like I said it is my fourth day in, the first day I was really all over the place I was just getting to know the new facility I’m training in and seeing what they offer, plus testing the waters in certain areas to see kind of where I’m at before I set up some workouts.

I think I want to dedicate a day to my upper body, another day to lower body stuff, I want to do a cardio/crossfit work out day and after every workout I want to do some core! I posted on my Facebook page that I’m really drawing a blank with some workouts I could incorporate to my days and reached out for some help to some of my friends who go to the gym and train on a regular basis, so hopefully someone gives me some good tips and little work outs I can do. 

My ultimate goal is to feel good, I read a quote the other day that said “Don’t let the scale define you.” When I use to work out I never once stepped on a scale unless I was being weighed for competitions, and I feel like these days I’ve let the scale take over. My goal right now is just to feel good about myself. Looking at old training videos and pictures … I feel like an addict who’s relapsed only I put myself back in this “fatty” situation. Before I knew it I was back where I was before I lost the weight and got really strong. Unlike some other people out there, I don’t compare myself to models in a magazine, I compare myself to… myself. I look at those pictures and video and wonder “where did that girl go… what made her stop.”

SO my goal in the gym is to beat my previous lifting goals and lose 15 pounds or so. I’m lucky because my gym partner and I weigh the same right now roughly, we are roughly the same size just carry our weight in different places. FOR the most part our gym goals are the same, we want to feel good, lose a little weight, and be strong. 

I’ll be honest I’m four days in and sometimes when I’m doing a work out I think to myself “how did I even get back to the bottom, how the hell am I going to do this.” I see myself looking at how far I have to pretty much go instead of looking at the progress I’ve already made. The first day I did feel quite out of shape, but as I started the days following I could feel myself getting stronger and my body was recovering better. In a little way shows me to stay motivated it will happen I just have to remind myself IT’S not going to happen over night.

I think that’s what most of us want, it to happen over night… When I see these “take this shake, this magic pill, wrap this…” and people do it, I think.. how long is that going to last for you? I 100% believe you have to put in the work and be willing to sometimes take a smaller portion of the junk you love (or cut a lot of it out completely) to meet your goals. You have to go on those walks/runs/roller skating days, you have to get your but to a gym, you have to be a little more aware of what your eating to see those LONG results.. not the band aid results. 

I’m 30 and I really have to think about how I’m going to take care of my body and myself so I can be a good vessel to my baby when Steve and I decide to have one, and I want to be able to play soccer with Mac, go on walks with my kids and keep up with them etc… I want to be active with my kids not watching from the side lines.

SOOOOOO this is what I have for you SO far when it comes to my lifting, and like religion I know everyone will have a different opinion on how to get those results. When I worked with Coach Morden at Crossfit, I wanted to be strong so he suggested I do more weight with less reps… SO this is what I’m doing, I realized that the toning, and definition comes even when I do this and I don’t mind how it looks. SO what I’m doing for my lifting is I’m going to lift the same weight for a week, depending how I feel I’m going to increase that weight by albs the following week and continue to do that.

When I stopped doing crossfit I was squatting 195lbs (for 5 reps), Benching 115lbs (for 5 reps), Dead Lifting 145lbs (for 5 reps), and Strict Pressing 90lbs (for 5 reps).

MY goal with my lifting is to surpass those. I guess you want to know where I’m starting at right now on week one…

Squat: 95lbs, Benching: 65lbs, Deadlifts: 85lbs, Strict Pressing: 65lbs

Each week I will give you an update on where I am weight wise with these, but what is so awesome is that I inspired

That Moment when your gym partners hands look like this and you tell her "your not done with that bar yet your fine.." lol

That Moment when your gym partners hands look like this and you tell her “your not done with that bar yet your fine..” lol

my gym partner to want to lift too and we pretty much love and hate some of the same work outs but I find that we do push each other to finish them. I feel like because we are on the same page I really think we are going to do well together training. Having a gym partner does help keeping you motivated, especially with setting a time and meeting each other there at that time. You can’t get lazy and not go because someone is depending on you to be there and go.

I’ve been looking up cross fit style workouts online and tabata work outs online to incorporate into our cardio/crossfit days. I’ve been tracking my progress in a notebook that I got at indigo. It’s black and the front of it says “work hard and be nice.” Sometimes if I’m tired or hungry I can get mean… so its just a little reminder. In this book I have motivating quotes, work out plans, and then write down my gym day (what I do etc..). I know there are apps for that.. but I like to write it instead I was never really good with using apps for stuff like that… I even hated using the calendar in my phone, I’d sooner  carry around my little organizer in my purse.

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Undies on the Mat…

On a gym side note, today we were ending our workout with planks (like we have the last four times we have went to the gym) and someone… I’m assuming a girl.. I guess dropped, lost, or took off somehow her g-string and left it on the mats in the gym? At first I thought maybe someone left their hand wraps on the ground but then I got closer and sure enough it said “La Senza” on them… I’m not sure how some girls undies ended up on the ground? It was a little… gross because they didn’t look like clean laundry that maybe got stuck in the hood of her gym zippy while in the dryer they looked like they were worn.. not pretty!

Tomorrow is a cardio/crossfit day I believe… should be interesting…

IF you have any good gym workouts post them in the comments we would love the suggestions.

Christina

Back to Blogging

•September 25, 2015 • Leave a Comment

I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since I’ve actually sat in front of the computer and wrote a blog post. Those of you OLD SCHOOL readers probably remember me writing all the time. It’s definitely something I miss, but I hopped on that “Vlog” wagon and took a bit of a ride. Although I love to vlog because it allows me to visually connect with you guys, I found that when I’m trying to talk about things that matter to me and experiences I’ve had I communicate it better through writing it down. 

I hope I can bust one or a few of these blog posts out a week (that’s the goal). 

So since my new years post a lot of great things have happened, which is awesome for us considering the roller coaster of events we had the last two years. I’m happy to say with much persistence McKayla now gets to see her sisters on a regular basis. Something that we were definitely pushing for since her mother passed away.

We also had the privilege to go to Cuba for the first time, I absolutely love their culture and their music and Cuba is just so interesting. I found myself admiring all the buildings and streets and it was such a great experience and I can’t wait to go back. 

We also were able to experience Orlando Florida and of course Disney with Mac this year. This was her first time out of the country, her first time on a plane, and her first time at Disney!! It was great to experience with her and see the excite meant on her face on our travels. To see her in the ocean for the first time just jumping in the waves and having fun I knew her mom would be happy she got to experience that.

I vlogged a lot of my recent travels on my YouTube page (if you guys are into blogs and stuff).

So the reason for this post is because as you guys know I was huge into working out, and the martial arts and when life kind of took a little bit of a turn I found myself trying to figure out how I can balance raising a child, work, my relationship I guess anyone who has ventured into a serious relationship/marriage/raising a child would know what I mean when I say you forget about you and your focus is them. Which isn’t a bad thing I would do ANYTHING for Mac and my family and Steven, but you do need your YOU time as well. A friend of mine said she couldn’t wait for her son to go to school so she can go back to work and be her… not be the mom,  or the wife she can just be herself. I thought that was one of the most real things I’ve ever heard. 

So I have finally got to a point where I can actually do things and not worry about anything because Steve and I have made this great structure and built a very strong wall of communication. We try and take time for ourselves out of this crazy roller coaster ride we are on right now. 

SO My “me time” is getting my butt back into the gym and I want to also go on hikes more often. I love being in the gym because no matter what I am stressing about or how I feel I can take it out on my work out. I guess it’s sort of an outlet for me (a healthy one). By the end of my work out I feel so much better and I love the feeling PLUS I can get my body back to where I want it and work myself back up to the lifting I was doing back when I was doing Crossfit with Adam! 

Hiking is very relaxing for me, I get a lot of fresh air, I can take in everything around me with pictures and video and just have no distractions around me. Just me and the wind blowing through the trees really! 

I thought that if I blogged this it will hold myself accountable, because I am telling a mass audience it will be my motivation to inspire and stick to it. 

I found a gym partner who works the same kind of schedule I do and she’s equally inspiring. So I’m pretty excited to get this started. I want to get a “walking” group started… you know just a bunch of friends who go for a long walk a few times a week or a hiking group, people who love to be one with nature who aren’t afraid to get a little muddy OR even people who just love to take pictures and want to come. I think that would be amazing to get some groups together to do that stuff (if anyones interested let me know and we can make it happen)!

So as I’m sitting here writing this I have to get ready for work, because I have to get Mac from school  before I start #MomLife BUT I hope you guys liked this little blurb and hopefully I can write a little more to you guys in future weeks!

Thanks guys
Christina 😀

Summing Up 2014 in My Own Words….

•January 14, 2015 • Leave a Comment

I wanted to write about my year, so I sat in front of a blank screen for a while I would then close the screen and continue with something else and then feel like I had a lot to write and then sit in front of a blank screen again.

Writing use to come easy, as easy as breathing or eating ice cream or putting on my socks. Just something that would naturally flow from my brain to the screen or page.

SO why did it take so long for me to actually have an idea of how I wanted this blog to go is beyond me. Maybe it is because this last year I really overcome a lot, I was put through a series of tests (by the way thanks “life” for that), I really took a look around me and figured out at the end of the day what is it that mattered enough for me to still have around me
What did I learn this year, man… maybe I should start off by what didn’t I learn.

I look at the people around me and they are newlyweds, starting a family, settling into their homes and here I am… I’m not saying I would change where I’m standing BUT I have a much different surroundings.

This was my first full year with a child, in 2013 I scrapped the surface of what I got myself into, and I will be honest I thought maybe I bit of more then I could chew. So I took that part of 2013 and reflected when 2014 rolled around and thought “what can I do to make this work.” I knew I didn’t want to replace anyone, but I still wanted to be looked at and treated with the same respect. How do you do that without stepping on toes, and looking like a “C U Next Tuesday?” Well truth is … YOU CAN’T you sort have just got to roll with it and hopefully people can see where you’re coming from.

I decided I wanted to develop a strong relationship with McKayla, obviously I’m not here to replace her mom nor could I ever! BUT I wanted her to know that I was going to be here with here and take over the “mommy jobs” as Steven has with the “daddy jobs.” I wanted to get to know her as a person, really find out what goes on in this little girls head. I wanted her to know and feel that even though it may seem like your alone (with no mother and father), that you have two people who love and care about you just the same and will be there for you every step of the way and do whatever it takes to make sure she has everything she needs in life INCLUDING her siblings.

This year was an uphill battle for me because I felt like Steven and I were always working against the current, HOWEVER when we overcame obstacles I guess the win tasted sweeter, but while we were weathering the storms that were a head it’s hard to hold it together. So this year I had to learn that its “perfectly okay to be imperfect.” I learned to communicate with my partner regardless if what I had to say may come off as hurtful or insensitive and I learned to take the same feedback the best I could. I also learned A LOT about McKayla through the various “adventures” we would find ourselves doing. I tried to be there for all her soccer games and any other event going on in her life. When we were together I let her talk to me about whatever she wanted, I didn’t force conversations about her mom, and tried to answer the hard questions like “why did my mom have to die from Cancer and some moms don’t” the best I could. Through our little adventures (and by adventures I mean walks at the pier, hiking, ice cream dates etc…)

I learned a lot about her and the type of lady she is growing into. She’s got a warm heart like her mom, will do anything for anyone HOWEVER she’s got a stern stubborn attitude like her uncle which can be a good thing later on in life but it makes her too quick for her age right now. Some people looking in might thing we are “hard” on her, BUT they don’t really know McKayla and how quick and sharp she really is. At first I cared about what people thought when it came to my “parenting” BUT I quickly realized that at the end of the day, they aren’t in our home raising her. Judgement is really like standing in a glass house throwing stones, and figured one day their parenting will be on display and that’s when Karma will set in. As far as I’m concerned I’m proud of Steven for the dad he is becoming, he’s a fantastic father figure and I think that I’m very lucky to have someone like that as my partner. I think that we are doing the best with the situation at hand, I think that we have grown into the rolls given and we continue to grow. Parenting can’t be taught (I don’t care how many books you read or classes you take), it is all about trial and error and you just have to learn from your mistakes and celebrate your wins and carry on.

I found two lumps this year which really had me thinking “what if.” So I made sure I got things in order just in case the “what ifs” were a reality one day in the future. The doctors say I’m in the clear so although I shouldn’t have anything to worry about, there is nothing wrong with getting things in order. It protects you and the people you love that are around you.

In my occupation I had to overcome some strong personalities, sometimes you can’t choose who you work with and you just have to accept you are not going to get along with everyone, so my focus was to work well together and then at the end of the day go our separate ways. Sometimes you don’t mesh well with people, doesn’t mean you can’t come together as a team and kill it. So that’s what I’ve tried to focus on, how can I be a better asset to my team, and what do I need to do to make it work. I learned to take feedback and try and roll with it, I’ve also tried to give more feedback as it is important to communicate on the two way street. I’ve taken on some extra projects at work and started to think about a development plan that I want for myself to get to my next step, and to set myself up for my future (whatever it may hold). This will continue into 2015!!

This past year I re-connected with a friend of mine whom I as good friends with in High School. It’s weird how life brings people in and out of your life. AND it’s also weird some of the people who have come to my aid in some of the hurdles I was faced with this year which helped me keep push forward more then they could ever know.

The friend I re-connected with I have seen since high school here and there but we never really talked between events we saw each other at. Weird enough a funeral brought us together by a simple gesture of reminding someone to call her about the death of a mutual person we knew. Someone she was close with at one time or another. I didn’t know this gesture would rekindle a friendship that was always there just never really on the right track. As I look back on 2014, and the amount of hurdles this girl has went through it inspired me to be a stronger person… a stronger person for her when she needed me and a stronger person for Mac & Steven. This girl doesn’t understand the fight she had every time something else bad happened to her that inspired me to want to keep pushing forward. I think she and I were meant to rekindle this friendship at this point in our lives because we have a lot we can bring to the table to help the other out whether we realize it or not.

During this process with McKayla I had another friend send me messages here and there of encouragement. When I started this process I really had NO IDEA what I got myself into, and although I was confident in who I was and what I could bring to the table, the situation was a little more complex and I had to be a lot more sensitive to a lot of different factors to make it work. I’d be lying if I sat here and told you that I never once felt like I was failing, because I did… BUT Ironically enough when I felt like that I would get a message from a girl I grew up with who like Mac lost her mom at the age of four or so and basically went through some of the same things Mac has or will be going through as she grows up. TO hear from someone who’s been there give me insight on what’s possibly to come, or having me in Macs life will ease the hurt of losing her mom, and how I’m doing a great job really brought tears to my eyes. It was something she 100% didn’t have to say, but to have someone recognize the little things and what they will mean to Mac (even though I may not have understood the impact I’ve been making) is a real eye opener and inspired me to want to be that person for her even more so. She really had a way of picking me up when I was feeling like I was failing and really pushed me to move forward and dig deep. AND for that… I will always be truly grateful.

This year, I tried to really branch off and get to know other couples who also have kids, with the constant uphill battle for visitation access for Mac to see her sisters, I wanted her to still have kids she can do things with, so this year I tried to set up a few more play dates and outings with other couples who also have kids. It was a great experience I think for all of us because when you talk to other couples who have kids it’s good to know that some of the things we are experiencing with Mac are completely normal. I love that their kids and Mac get along, and she’s got great relationships with them. It’s something she really needs until the official ball gets rolling on the access and then she can share all the amazing adventures with her sisters and show them some really cool places and things to do, as well as allowing her to finally be a big sister and teach them and show them things in the process.

Obviously not all my relationships this year have been great and supportive, and that’s forced me to really look at my surroundings and figure out who had their poker face on. I had the feeling that there were some people who were around me who put on a good friendly face but at the end of the day we were never really meant to be friends, and as soon as I recognized that I had to cut them out of my life. In life I feel like you have to have a great support system around you, when you fall everyone is there to make the fall hurt less as you would make their fall hurt less, and when one of those structures starts to just let you fall that’s when you know the relationship isn’t meant to be. Sometimes it’s easier said than done, but at this stage in my life I don’t need 500 friends, I am okay with having a handful that I know will support me instead of surrounding me with negativity and attaching my name to negativity. Some may find that harsh to swallow but it is how I feel and I’m sorry it makes you angry to know that.

2015 I want to make sure I find time for myself, sometimes I have myself so wrapped up in certain things (something’s I shouldn’t even be stressing about) that I forget to do the things I love to do. I want to get out and do more hikes this year, I want to travel a little bit more (pending time off), and I want to make sure that I’m set for my future by lining up my ducks one by one. Start off by short goals, and work into long time goals. I want to make use of some of the relationships that I can’t avoid, and try and find some common ground because I truly feel that’s the only way to make it work for the future. I want to write more, and vlog more about some of the things that matter to me. I want to take you all on this journey with me and I want to reach out to people who are maybe going through the same thing with my story. I want to inspire people to be inspired.

There is a lot to accomplish in 2015… so let’s get this ball rolling! 
Happy New Year everyone
Christina

A Reading With a Medium

•May 13, 2014 • Leave a Comment

HEY GUYS!!!! I know it’s been awhile since I’ve written anything on my blog (wow… I think i start off every written blog like that). I’ve been having a lot of fun creating vlogs and uploading them to my facebook page and my youtube channel over the last little bit. But I am going to be honest I really love writing to you guys, those of you who have followed me and my stuff know I love to write and I’ve always felt its an easy way for me to get my point across! If your brand new and reading this no worries you’re not missing much, but for those of you who continue to follow me each week you might remember me posting a vlog about going to St. Catharines to talk with a Medium in the area. Like I’ve said the first time I wrote about an experience like this I’m not trying to convince ANYONE, or tell them what they should or should not believe. I’m only talking about MY EXPERIENCE and how I FELT. If you have had similar experiences by all means please please share them with me, if you are a spiritual person I would love to hear about it, if you are on the fence that’s okay too and if you DO NOT BELIVE in any of this I respect that but in the same sense I would hope you could respect what I am about to write about my experience as well.

 

I realized after I uploaded the St.Catharine’s Vlog that I actually didn’t talk much about my reading and how it went. I do have my reading recorded however I haven’t figured out how to transfer it from my phone (the app I used is called “Parrot”) and put it onto the computer for everyone to hear. The reading I had was about an hour or so, with an older lady who is 65 and has seen spirit since she was 16 years old. She’s got a cute accent and such a positive calming look on life. Prior to my reading a friend of mine had went in before me. I guess the outcome wasn’t the one she had hoped for due to some negative energy or something.

 

As I sat down with this women she said “your really going to make really good marriage material and mother material”. I laughed simply because with everything going on over the last two years on top of my brother and two cousins getting married I haven’t gave it much thought. HOWEVER those around me have…. (you all know who you are haha GUILTY!!) I’ve never met this women and to bring “mother material” up right away was sort of an “ah ha” moment for me. Considering I’m supporting Steven in his decision to raise McKayla as his own and ensure she is well taken care of, structured, and reaches for every goal and dream she has. Making that decision last year was one I didn’t have to think about really its something you just DO however it wasn’t easy either. Raising someone else’s child is hit or miss you will always have those around you who think “i could do better, you don’t know what your doing yadda yadda” AND obviously my family has worries as well (which I feel is normal). the women also told me to stay as I was… Which meant a lot to me because I feel like I’ve gone thorough this journey of life up to this point and every step I took, every experience I’ve encountered, people I’ve met have really shaped me into who I am, and regardless of what anyone else thinks I’m pretty happy with who that person is and confident in the person I’ve become.

 

This women said to me” your more grounded…” she then let out a little laugh and said “your nan says it’s because she talks to you and you listen.” My nonna’s is still very much alive, and I’ve never really had any other spirits around me in other readings other then my male guide as well as three-four children spirits that also have come to my readings. So when she said “your nan” the only women I could think of was “Nanny…” which is what EVERYONE called my dad’s mother (whom I have never met). She passed away when my dad was 15 years old but from what I heard she was an extraordinary women.

 

I’m lucky I think both of my grandmothers are amazing people and I’m so blessed to have that. she was describing the spirits that were around me and she said “the man over there he is probably just older then I am” and I never thought about it at the time, but my Babbo (my mothers father) would be just a smidge older then her in his 80’s! Since he’s never appeared at any of my readings I didn’t give it much thought. I then had to shuffle a deck of cards and cut it into different parts as she asked. While I was doing this she was saying a prayer (as she is a catholic women). She told me that as she was saying her prayer the older women was saying “amen, amen, amen” made me laugh a little. she started talking about my aura. Now from what I have read the meaning of Aura is different to many people. BUT in this sense the Aura is formed by subtle colour radiances which surround the body of a human being. These radiances can be perceived by a psychic/medium.

 

Each colour signifies a certain vibration which has different meanings. She started off by telling me I’m going to grow to be a VERY spiritual women, and that God has work for me to do. She says: “When your older I think you will be very involved with its either church league.. its a religious attached, a soup kitchen etc…” I smiled because I am all for helping people recently I helped a family who lost everything by just rallying up some of my co-workers to donate clothes and such and we were able to pack 5 great big boxes for these girls and their family. I also have donated and supported different causes just to help people out. I don’t do it for the spotlight I do it because if I can relieve someone of some stress for a short period (or a long period) why not do it? Hopefully it will inspire them to pay it forward to the next person. She said there were a lot of blue by my ears, eyes and mouth and said its great for listening, observing and speaking.

 

She said the circles of light that go around my Aura mean i’m giving off a lot of love, ease and energy which is beautiful to see. she briefly mentioned after the talk about my Aura that : “Your going to have a child that travels a lot eh.. its funny to see that now.” She mentioned that water has a spiritual meaning to me, whenever i’m mad or upset I need to sit by a stream, a waterfall, a river etc. It calms me she said. It was another “ah ha” moment for me because I do go hiking (especially around water and waterfalls) to just realx and get a sense of calm and lose myself in my thoughts so i’m better prepared for whatever decision I come to. She was also the SECOND medium to tell me that flowing water has a spiritual meaning for me. She said whenever I need to make decisions to go to a body of water to calm myself and get a better grasp on the decisions I have to make. She said it makes my sense more heightened. She said I will make decisions, I will make decisions to work with negative things, I will be loved, and I would live to experience a lot of my hopes and dreams. She said ‘the man that you love is the man that you grow old with.” SHE did say there was another man who loves me, however the man I LOVE will be the man I grow old with.

 

It was another “AH HA” moment for me as well. I will put down FIRM roots in my marriage, she said it will work because there will be much love and great communication. Steven and I have worked VERY hard on our communication and I’m happy to say we are able to discuss things especially now when it comes to raising McKayla and what is in her best interests. There is a lot of communication and work involved in keeping a successful relationship that’s for sure. She asked to see the inside of my hand (which one other medium had also requested during one of my readings.) She showed me a specific line on my left hand that shows I am very intuitive and I should be able to communicate with spirit. At that point I told her I was trying, because clearly like the other two Mediums I had seen she was telling me the same thing about my spirituality. She also showed me another portion of my hand which had to do with my life,and she said at this point (and she pointed to a cross in the line) I would make a life changing decision. She said I will be living my life and helping people though things in their life which was another “AH HA” moment because I’ve had some people personally write me on how I HAVE inspired them in some way shape or form, and one of my girlfriends and I during a good chat over coffee expressed to me that I clearly don’t know the impact I make on people’s lives (which made me tear up) because I actually never stopped to really think that.

 

I just always treated people the way I would like to be treated (something my grade 5 teacher drilled into my head ha). Her father was at the reading in spirit and she says to me “My father says keep at it and you will grow in your work.” She said that the cards showed a “work person” giving me opportunity, and that opportunity will lead to more money. Another card she pulled talked about “man in spirit” and in my first reading I found out I had a spirit guide, one who is very strong and he knew that I could communicate and has been patient enough to wait and help me get to the point where I can clearly communicate with him on a regular bases like some of the mediums do. The second medium I saw told me he was much older then the spirits in the room we were in (which had a lot of other mediums as well) and now this women is talking about a “man in spirit”. quite interesting to say the least. She asked if there was a man in spirit in the room with us, and he stepped forward and made himself known. She said that “he’s here to protect you and make sure that I only have minimal problems.” AGAIN I know he’s here to protect me and watch over me. Call me crazy (and this is where I think most people would think I was crazy) BUT… I have felt some kind of force around me when there are people in my life who may seem nice to my face but certainly have other words to say about me behind my back and I know who these people are because he makes me open my eyes and observe these people.

 

He communicates with me through heat and whenever there is someone around who he feels isn’t the best person he makes me feel heat on my face and ears so intense it feels like someone is pressing a hot iron or holding a flame to my face. He also warns me when I am talking to people if he feels maybe I shouldn’t talk about something with someone he also creates the same kind of heat. (THINK I’M CRAZY NOW? PROBABLY… BUT AT LEAST I’M BEING HONEST WITH MY EXPERIENCES)! She showed me the number three and said it’s paired up with a time frame that had to do with marriage. It could mean three days, three weeks, three months, three years etc… When it comes to timeframes and such about marriage I sort of take all that with a grain of salt. Some people let it impact their thinking I just look at something like this as a heads up. Although I believe in the spiritual aspect of things I don’t try and take anything out of context or look into it more then what it is. She said “in the next few years love is going to happen” and her father said for “me to stay as I am, and don’t change, that I’m a good women and if he didn’t know it he would think I was irish..” not really sure what he meant about the irish part BUT I do wear an Irish Claddagh ring on my right hand with the heart to me. When I went to a physic/medium convention a lady told me the story behind the Claddagh ring and I fell in love with it and had to have it. I had it on during this reading… which would explain the “irish comment.”

 

She told me I must not doubt, that there WILL be a marriage! i will be marrying an honorable man. She started talking about my work place and said I am going to be very busy. I will be very busy at work and they will be happy with me and I will be happy with them. Another card showed me my nan, and when she started to talk about her I felt this coldness on my back almost as if she put her hand on my back to let me know she was there. She said that she will journey with me all of my life. She talked a little about steve and how he was with a women that wasn’t for him, his back is turned to her. I know that steven saw other people (as did i when we were not together). AND I know that they were not for him as the people I saw were not for me because it always came back to us. She said he is the kind of man a lot of women would like but he is my soul mate. she talked about an old man that wasn’t well, she said I would know of an old man who isn’t well and he is sick with something that you will have for a long time. Something that just goes on and on, and said that he needs to take care of it she said he is a young old man and he wants to be an old old man. She said I was very wise for my years… I giggled at that made me feel a little old.

She said that “he” meaning steven will make a decision and there will be a SURPRISE right after. She said that I will feel much love and be static (hmmm proposal perhaps ha) She told me I was going to have a lovely home which was interesting to me because I’ve dreamt of the home she was describing to me. She said I was going to have busy children but I wont have a big family, she sees only two angels above my head. I think there were only two angels because I feel I’m only going to have two children and then of course we will have McKayla. She asked me who are all the children that are attached with me now and I said i’m not sure but she said there are children attached to me now which came up in my last reading with a hamilton based medium. She asked me if I worked with children (which I don’t) but my mother does and I’m wondering if that is why she had asked me. She said that there is someone who I have affection/feelings for will have some kind of tragedy.

 

She felt strongly that it was the girl that was in before me. Something will be very devastating for her. She mentioned I was going to make important decisions about change and life and laughed. She said I’m going to have a child that is going to love water, who will be highly intelligent child with full hopes and dreams. She said my kids are going to be good kids but said I’m going to have to have money because what my kids are going to want to do is going to require a lot of money for education. She said I’m going to do a lot of traveling over oceans and her father spoke up and said “be patient dear rome wasn’t built in day.” She said there is going to be growth in the work place and that they are happy with me and that the opportunity will require more but I will get paid more and her father said “don’t worry you can cope.. you can cope…”

 

She let out a big chuckle and said she poked her on her back and said “ there are a lot of surprise is this small parcel that is sitting in front of you.” we both laughed because that was the first time IN MY LIFE someone called me a SMALL PARCEL haha! She said my kids are going to make me proud and I will be very involved in what they do. I’m going to be very supportive of them and they are going to do well. They are going to have lots of friends around them. She said one of my kids is going to be interested in art and asked if there was anyone in my family who was artsy… which my dad and my brother anthony both are. She said my children are going to want to study and that my “nanna” will always be with them to watch over them. She said i’m either going to have twins or I’m going to have my kids very close together she was the third medium to tell me that.

 

She said my kids are going to be pretty brainy. One of them will be into politics or law. Very interested in the state of the country and what is happening and will be from a young age. My pops came into my reading she said “he’s not very happy with him self.” She said that he was above me which meant i need to be supportive with him. And that I will be surprised because life is going to change which means he’s going to change because of my support and I want him to have a long life. She told me that he’s got to watch his blood pressure and his sugar! She wanted to see a picture of steven because she said he will be talking to me about marriage and wanted to see what he looked like. When I showed her the picture of steve she immediately laughed and said “if you don’t want him I will have him.” She said he is a super guy and his eyes look directly at me and he can’t keep secrets. Its hard for him to keep a secret from me. She said he knows what he wants he has a strong jaw which means he has a strong personality. She said she liked that his eyes were open because it meant he was a very honest man and his ears are good for listening and if we have children that the kids can talk to their dad. She said we are two half’s of a while and said we are beautiful.

 

She said Steve wants to build foundations. She said at his job he is the one that does the talking. She said steve would take a bullet for me which means he will always be protecting me from anything bad that happens. She said steven will be more successful then myself, and we will be well off and doing okay in our lives. Her father said “not just money in the bank fixes assets” she said steven will own properties. She said our home WILL have to have an office. And I must make sure that all he does I watch he doesn’t stress too much. Steve will make wise decisions BUT he will always tell me about them. If he takes partners in his business he must be the main guy! She said there will be some stage of my life i will be looking at plans… but she doesn’t know if its building something or what… BUT what she didn’t know is that when I retire or maybe even in my earlier years I want to build and create a B and B!!! She said I won’t have to worry about the big “c” which meant cancer and that most people are worried about cancer… weird how that would come up… but she did say when i’m older I will have issues with my bones! She said at one stage i will have a surgery but it will be a regular surgery (tying tubes, etc) I won’t have to worry it won’t be cancer. She said that I will give advice to many children. She said my mom will have problems with her hip and has to watch when she’s going down stairs and her fathers spirit asked “has she fallen yet”. So during my experience like I’ve explained I had a lot of my own personal “AH HA” moments… and like I said in the beginning you don’t have to believe what I’m saying and if you believe it I want to hear your experiences.

 

I started talking about my grandfather who passed away and she laughed and said he stepped forward and said “that’s me”. It touched my heart to know he came to visit!!!! 

I have great spiritual guidance that surrounds me everyday and I’m fortunate for that. BUT none of what I was told is going to change the way I think or feel, I always look at it as a heads up, a suggestion, a perspective to keep in mind. I to filter some with a grain of salt of course. Please place in the comments about your experience I would love to hear them

 

Thanks for reading Christina

Being Back.. Never felt SO Good!!!

•February 2, 2014 • 1 Comment

I started doing a lot of vlogs in January and not writing so much. I didn’t write a lot because I really didn’t have a lot of “nice” things to say. I’ve had a lot going on emotionally and didn’t really want to write about it FOR the simple fact I had nothing nice and positive to say. I know people out there see my vlogs/blogs and think I’m an open book but there is a lot of things I sometimes don’t share because … well… I don’t want to be a negative nancy! 

So I’m sorry if the vlogs/blogs stopped for a bit, I’m trying to find a little bit of positive in what’s going on around me right now.

Because of this curve ball of stress I started to feel a bit overwhelmed, I didn’t realize I could love a little human being so much that seeing her upset and hurting would effect me THIS much. Like my friend’s who are mums would say “welcome to parenthood”. 

I needed an outlet to relieve a lot of the stress that was on my shoulders. Although I have a lot of great friends and family, I just felt for ME to stay sane I needed to do more then talk about it. 

One night, after a lot of different mood swings, I finally told Steven that I was emotionally breaking and didn’t know how to hold the pieces together this time and that I was started to feel really crummy. I mean I didn’t even want to start my days because I felt SO overwhelmed with what life was/is throwing at me. A few vlogs ago I talked about wanting to get back into the gym and training. I wanted to be strong again, I wanted to choke people out and be choked out, I wanted to hit a heavy bag, I wanted to wrestle, I wanted to life weights again. 

I haven’t really done any martial arts training in probably 3 or 4 years, and I know a lot of people see me and the first thing they ask is “how is training going” and when I tell them I haven’t in that long they are like “god… why did you stop?” because they simply can’t fathom why I would just STOP something I loved so so soooo much.

My response has always stayed the same “it just wasn’t fun for me anymore.

Women’s MMA is becoming pretty big, and its INSPIRING to see some of the women I looked up to make it in the UFC and FINALLY be recognized for their pure talent! Watching them talk about how hard they worked made me start to miss the sport. I would sit and watch UFC bouts and at first didn’t really care… but then somewhere I started to miss it, and miss it more. 

Steve has known me since we were 16, so when I’m coming out and saying I can’t hold these pieces together he know’s it has to be really really eating at me. He suggested maybe I check out this “new” gym that has opened up just at the traffic circle. So I looked it up and stumbled across their FB page and messaged them about their programs. It’s hard to find a legit gym, one where someone hasn’t watched a DVD and thought “hey I can teach this stuff.” SO SO SO much goes into running a martial arts program and it takes a lot of patience, respect, control, and someone who is very very passionate about what they are teaching and how they are teaching. 

Believe it or not sometimes it’s really hard to find that. 

So I set up a time where I could go check out the facility, and originally I was going to go try a class. BUT when the day came I really got scared (yes… you read that right… I was scared), and I called Steven up making up ALLLLL these excuses as to why I couldn’t go and I needed to re-schedule the drop in. He literally called me out on my bullshit and made me go down there (he even made sure to come with me). I met the owner Jim Flood and some of his trainers.

It’s really weird how things work out because one of the first faces I saw when I walked in was a familiar one. I looked at Steve and said “hey I think.. I think I know this guy.” Sure enough I knew him, he wrestled in high school the same time as me and I seen him and his brother a VARIOUS grappling tourneys throughout my years training and competing. I’ve NEVER formally met either of them but they knew me and I knew them (their faces and their skill). When they were on the mat you couldn’t help but STOP and watch they are pretty talented guys.

So it was nice to finally formally meet both of them!

Jim and I set up a time where I could go and train with him as he does with all member to see where they are in skill level, and to make sure they are a fit for the gym and the gym is a fit for them. The world becomes even SMALLER when I realize this Jim Flood is the same Jim Flood that trained a friend of mine for the World Championships in Austria a few years ago… CRAZY! I even went to their fund raiser event to support the cause!!!

My first training session with Jim I basically was hoping not to puke, my nerves were through the roof because we were doing stand up pad work (not grappling). I worked stand up with Edge at his gym, and I worked a bit of Thai Boxing with a friend of mine I use to train with WAY WAY back when. Stand up isn’t something I loved it was basically something I “liked.”

I worked pad work and I got to thank Edge because if it wasn’t for him CONSTANTLY on my foot work and where my hands meed to be I don’t think I would have been where I was with my stand up. And my friend who did Thai Boxing with me was really on me about placement of my kicks and how my form should be and that’s helped too.

After the second session Flood said he would love to have me as a member of his gym! After the 2 sessions with him I felt right at home, I felt a lot of the stress melt off and I felt a little more like myself again.

Not going to lie, my body HURT after the 1st session, the rust SUCKS coming off. BUT I didn’t puke and that’s what I was more worried about.

I did my first wrestling class last night, I was really happy that because the classes are so new they are really starting from the basics before showing anything huge. It was a fantastic refresh for me and I learned a few different ways of doing things. Before I knew it I was back into teacher mode helping out the guys I was working with. I’m sure some of them felt a bit weird doing stand up with me but at the end of the day its nothing I’m not use too. I sincerely appreciate the guys who do know me telling them to treat me like any other team mate in there. 

Its weird trying to explain into words just how much I actually MISSSEDDD the sport. I missed everything about it. Even the aches and pains that come with shaking off the rust. I know I feel like I”m starting from the bottom again, I remember where I was and think about where I am and how I want to be where I was again. I know it’s not going to happen over night, especially since the sport has really evolved since I trained and I have to learn some of the new styles. But I appreciate training with guys who have a great passion for the sport and teaching and like Bret said.. Its nice to just train with someone who likes to train and can train!!! 

So I’m looking forward to training again, getting the bumps and bruises that come with it and I’m sure I will write all about it.

And for the record, if anyone is looking for a new gym to train at you should check this place out. It’s not all about the martial arts they have a lot to offer. The place is still half under construction, HOWEVER they already have some great classes and programs and place and more great things to come. Ladies if you want to shed some of the winter layers off check out their ultimate body burn classes and kick boxing classes… they have striking, grappling, open mats, mma, etc… check them out!!! 

Floods Positive Impact MMA: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Floods-Positive-Impact-Martial-Arts/461018474003756

Hamilton Sports & Fitness Multiplex: https://www.facebook.com/HamiltonSportsFitnessMultiplex 

2013 in review

•January 2, 2014 • 2 Comments

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 4,900 times in 2013. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 4 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Thank You 2013!

•January 2, 2014 • Leave a Comment

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURESAnother year has come and gone, everyone has been reflecting on their year on facebook, twitter, youtube and other social media outlets. The flood of pictures of the holidays and new years eve filled my news feeds and it was great to see everyone had some good times.

I wasn’t sure how I wanted to reflect on the year, I seen a few people on youtube do these cool videos but life’s been too crazy for me to video tape as much as I wanted to this year. The only thing that I was sort of consistent with was sharing photos of “the everyday.” I want to vlog a bit more this year now that I have this wonderful camera!!!

Those of you who are close to me know that 2013 wasn’t exactly the easiest year I’ve ever had to deal with. A LOT of good and unfortunate things happened this year and reflecting on my year, I feel confident in saying that it exposed some of my weaknesses but at the end of the day… I made those weaknesses my BITCH!!!!

This year my boyfriend’s family was delivered a huge blow when they lost Stephanie. Stephanie is my boyfriend’s older sister who was diagnosed with cancer in 2012 and 3 months later she passed away (in early 2013). Stephanie left behind three of the most beautiful little girls god could ever create. All different and unique in their own way!!! Unfortunately this year we were unable to enjoy the company of two of her three little angels due to being unable to connect with their father and his family to sit down and discuss access for McKayla! McKayla was able to have her birthday wish come true and see her sisters even if it was for only a little over an hour but I made a promise to Stephanie and have made a promise to McKayla to make it right and fight for her to have her family back in her life. I feel its very important and therapeutic for the girls to be with each other and I will do everything I can for those girls to be able to spend time with each other!!! 

By going through this, I really saw first hand what it was like to be a parent and feeling like a super hero to  little girl who looks up to me as she did her own mother. It’s a compliment for me to know that Stephanie thought highly enough of me to trust that I would treat each girl as they were my own and fight for all the good things in life that they deserve to have. Living out another women’s dreams for her kids has been one of the scariest things I’ve ever had to do. Raising a child doesn’t come with a hand book (although google has helped in a few situations). It’s one of those things you just jump in and do and hope for the best. BUT in the midsts of parenting McKayla it made me appreciate my own parents. When I look at my childhood I can’t commend them enough for holding it all together and ensuring I was able to take advantage of all the great things life brought in my path and when I felt like I couldn’t reach they gave me a bit of a boost! My mom has been a great inspiration and I think that if it wasn’t for her always workign with kids I probably would have a harder time with all this. By watching her and having her as an example in my life it gave me a few tools to use with McKayla. I’ve been able to go to her for advice and honest opinions and knowing that I’m on the right track makes me feel great. 

I’ve come to see the strength of my family, as they rallied together at Stephanie’s funeral to support not only myself, but my boyfriend and his family. My immediate family even went as far as to go to the hospital in the early morning of her passing to ensure they were there incase i broke down and needed someone. My family has accepted my decision to raise McKayla with Steven and have treated her as if she was my own. I can’t wait for the other girls to experience the life and strength my family has to offer to them. McKayla has talked a lot about her sisters and I feel that when they finally get to meet my family, my family is going to know so much about them that it would be like they were there the entire time. 

My extended family has also opened their doors to McKayla and have treated her with so much love ensuring that she knows she’s got a big big big family that love and care for her. I sincerely appreciate their ongoing support and love I can’t even put into words how much it meant to myself and Steven that they came to the funeral, as well as being a HUGE part in McKayla’s life this year.

This year I was also able to see who my true friends were, and dropped a few a long the way. I strongly feel a true friend is someone you can go months without communication and then when you finally meet up its like a beat was never skipped. These were the friends that understood whole heartily that Steven and I both had a lot going on in our lives and continued to lend an ear or just go out for a bit to take our mind off things. These were the people that stood on the front line fighting with us and keeping us strong when it came to other issues during Stephanie’s illness and the drama that came with it. They are the ones who CONTINUE to lend that unconditional love and support and for that we are truly grateful. The people who dropped off this past year, we are a little sad to see you go, but it was better now then later! Things happen for a reason and maybe with us going through this it showed us who our true circle is!!

I’ve learned this year that I in fact inherit my grandmothers (and mothers) strong shoulders. I was able to take a lot on and managed to just keep moving forward. I learned that the second I feel unaccomplished and maybe not where I want to be in my life all I have to do is take a look around to reminded that I’ve climbed some of the toughest walls life has threw my way, and made the most of ugly situations and came out with maybe a battered face but still walking on my own two legs. Maybe to other’s that’s not an accomplishment and maybe to them I’m not going anywhere with my life, but knowing that life can throw me some of it’s best and knowing that I am strong enough to over come it is one of the best gifts in my life and I feel like I’ve done a great job just taking things as they come and that’s all I can ever ask for at this point in my life.

I would say that this year my relationship has completely been tested and I’m proud to say that Steven and I worked together and hit it straight on. It’s weird to see him as a father figure because for us things are now completely backwards. I went from “girlfriend” to “parent”. We had to discuss and communicate with each other about parenting, we have been there for each other when things got tough, we have stood firm with how we want to parent and our expectations. We have created structure for this little girl and surrounded her with so much love. The only puzzle piece missing is her beautiful little sisters. This year I have seen Steven in so many different lights, and I got to tell you everyday I’m falling more and more in love with him. He is someone who is very strong and takes on the world. He’s always busy making sure everyone else around him is doing well and never stops to worry about himself. He takes care of so many more people then just McKayla. I sometimes feel bad for him because I want him to “do him” I want him to worry about himself and not feel bad for doing so. He’s everyone’s go to guy and is always sent to do everything. He is someone I know when the going gets tough we are going to just take a deep breath and tag team it. We have managed to strengthen our relationship this past year with everything that has been going on. I’m not sure if other couples would be able to communicate and get through all of what we get through. It makes me that much more excited to spend the rest of my life with him. 

So yeah maybe this year was a bit of a stress ball, but along the way I learned a lot of great lessons, experienced a lot of different things outside of my comfort zone and am more confident then anything! Life isn’t always going to be perfect and yeah it’s going to get pretty shitty, but if you can sit back and realize what you learned from it and know that you made it through then be happy because a lot of people probably couldn’t do that.

So thank you 2013 for teaching me so many different things, thank you to everyone for your ongoing support and love, and thank you to my wonderful boyfriend who I can’t imagine my life without. ALSO thank you to McKayla who has brought so much more joy to my life over the last year and I’m excited to see how much you grow each year and I can’t wait for you to be with your sisters!!! 

Christina

 
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