Being Back.. Never felt SO Good!!!

I started doing a lot of vlogs in January and not writing so much. I didn’t write a lot because I really didn’t have a lot of “nice” things to say. I’ve had a lot going on emotionally and didn’t really want to write about it FOR the simple fact I had nothing nice and positive to say. I know people out there see my vlogs/blogs and think I’m an open book but there is a lot of things I sometimes don’t share because … well… I don’t want to be a negative nancy! 

So I’m sorry if the vlogs/blogs stopped for a bit, I’m trying to find a little bit of positive in what’s going on around me right now.

Because of this curve ball of stress I started to feel a bit overwhelmed, I didn’t realize I could love a little human being so much that seeing her upset and hurting would effect me THIS much. Like my friend’s who are mums would say “welcome to parenthood”. 

I needed an outlet to relieve a lot of the stress that was on my shoulders. Although I have a lot of great friends and family, I just felt for ME to stay sane I needed to do more then talk about it. 

One night, after a lot of different mood swings, I finally told Steven that I was emotionally breaking and didn’t know how to hold the pieces together this time and that I was started to feel really crummy. I mean I didn’t even want to start my days because I felt SO overwhelmed with what life was/is throwing at me. A few vlogs ago I talked about wanting to get back into the gym and training. I wanted to be strong again, I wanted to choke people out and be choked out, I wanted to hit a heavy bag, I wanted to wrestle, I wanted to life weights again. 

I haven’t really done any martial arts training in probably 3 or 4 years, and I know a lot of people see me and the first thing they ask is “how is training going” and when I tell them I haven’t in that long they are like “god… why did you stop?” because they simply can’t fathom why I would just STOP something I loved so so soooo much.

My response has always stayed the same “it just wasn’t fun for me anymore.

Women’s MMA is becoming pretty big, and its INSPIRING to see some of the women I looked up to make it in the UFC and FINALLY be recognized for their pure talent! Watching them talk about how hard they worked made me start to miss the sport. I would sit and watch UFC bouts and at first didn’t really care… but then somewhere I started to miss it, and miss it more. 

Steve has known me since we were 16, so when I’m coming out and saying I can’t hold these pieces together he know’s it has to be really really eating at me. He suggested maybe I check out this “new” gym that has opened up just at the traffic circle. So I looked it up and stumbled across their FB page and messaged them about their programs. It’s hard to find a legit gym, one where someone hasn’t watched a DVD and thought “hey I can teach this stuff.” SO SO SO much goes into running a martial arts program and it takes a lot of patience, respect, control, and someone who is very very passionate about what they are teaching and how they are teaching. 

Believe it or not sometimes it’s really hard to find that. 

So I set up a time where I could go check out the facility, and originally I was going to go try a class. BUT when the day came I really got scared (yes… you read that right… I was scared), and I called Steven up making up ALLLLL these excuses as to why I couldn’t go and I needed to re-schedule the drop in. He literally called me out on my bullshit and made me go down there (he even made sure to come with me). I met the owner Jim Flood and some of his trainers.

It’s really weird how things work out because one of the first faces I saw when I walked in was a familiar one. I looked at Steve and said “hey I think.. I think I know this guy.” Sure enough I knew him, he wrestled in high school the same time as me and I seen him and his brother a VARIOUS grappling tourneys throughout my years training and competing. I’ve NEVER formally met either of them but they knew me and I knew them (their faces and their skill). When they were on the mat you couldn’t help but STOP and watch they are pretty talented guys.

So it was nice to finally formally meet both of them!

Jim and I set up a time where I could go and train with him as he does with all member to see where they are in skill level, and to make sure they are a fit for the gym and the gym is a fit for them. The world becomes even SMALLER when I realize this Jim Flood is the same Jim Flood that trained a friend of mine for the World Championships in Austria a few years ago… CRAZY! I even went to their fund raiser event to support the cause!!!

My first training session with Jim I basically was hoping not to puke, my nerves were through the roof because we were doing stand up pad work (not grappling). I worked stand up with Edge at his gym, and I worked a bit of Thai Boxing with a friend of mine I use to train with WAY WAY back when. Stand up isn’t something I loved it was basically something I “liked.”

I worked pad work and I got to thank Edge because if it wasn’t for him CONSTANTLY on my foot work and where my hands meed to be I don’t think I would have been where I was with my stand up. And my friend who did Thai Boxing with me was really on me about placement of my kicks and how my form should be and that’s helped too.

After the second session Flood said he would love to have me as a member of his gym! After the 2 sessions with him I felt right at home, I felt a lot of the stress melt off and I felt a little more like myself again.

Not going to lie, my body HURT after the 1st session, the rust SUCKS coming off. BUT I didn’t puke and that’s what I was more worried about.

I did my first wrestling class last night, I was really happy that because the classes are so new they are really starting from the basics before showing anything huge. It was a fantastic refresh for me and I learned a few different ways of doing things. Before I knew it I was back into teacher mode helping out the guys I was working with. I’m sure some of them felt a bit weird doing stand up with me but at the end of the day its nothing I’m not use too. I sincerely appreciate the guys who do know me telling them to treat me like any other team mate in there. 

Its weird trying to explain into words just how much I actually MISSSEDDD the sport. I missed everything about it. Even the aches and pains that come with shaking off the rust. I know I feel like I”m starting from the bottom again, I remember where I was and think about where I am and how I want to be where I was again. I know it’s not going to happen over night, especially since the sport has really evolved since I trained and I have to learn some of the new styles. But I appreciate training with guys who have a great passion for the sport and teaching and like Bret said.. Its nice to just train with someone who likes to train and can train!!! 

So I’m looking forward to training again, getting the bumps and bruises that come with it and I’m sure I will write all about it.

And for the record, if anyone is looking for a new gym to train at you should check this place out. It’s not all about the martial arts they have a lot to offer. The place is still half under construction, HOWEVER they already have some great classes and programs and place and more great things to come. Ladies if you want to shed some of the winter layers off check out their ultimate body burn classes and kick boxing classes… they have striking, grappling, open mats, mma, etc… check them out!!! 

Floods Positive Impact MMA:

Hamilton Sports & Fitness Multiplex: 


~ by Christina Sears on February 2, 2014.

One Response to “Being Back.. Never felt SO Good!!!”

  1. Know exactly what u mean, if it wasn’t for me working out, I’d be in the nut house, it’s good to see that someone else shares the sport of working out, no matter what your into, if u love it, it will always be a part of your life, u might drift from it, because of circumstances, but once your back, that’s when u realize how much one misses it, and needs it. I use to train people for power lifting, and bodybuilding, until my accident, but even that doesn’t stop me. Good for u and if u need someone else to talk to, I have big shoulders, and yes I can’t image what your feeling with all that has been happening, please take time to take care of yourself.


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