If I Died Tomrorow

death3Lots of stuff has been happing right now, things sort of out of anyone’s control. It’s one of those why do things like this happen to good people, young people, people who have their entire lives a head of them. 

But thing happen and its our of our control, as much as we feel our life is in our control certain aspects of life ARE not in your control. Since this news has hit, I’ve sort of looked at the world with a bit of a clearer vision.

I mean really are you prepared if you were to die tomorrow? I talked over a lot of life insurance stuff with my parents and I made sure that if anything were to happen to me things are taken care of. 

I started thinking about what IF something happened to me tomorrow, what would have been my last words to the last person I’ve talked to, would I have left anything unfinished, and to be honest at this point in my life I feel like I’m exactly where I’m suppose to be. I don’t really feel incomplete about anything. 

I’ve traveled when I could, I saw and been to Australia which was one of my biggest dreams and it came true and happened. I swam at the Barrier Reef and feed wild dolphins. I also got to travel when I could PERIOD… whenever there was a traveling opportunity I went even if it wasn’t crazy far. Sometimes all it takes is a little change of environment to feel a bit refreshed.

I’ve finished school and I’m working and picking at a career right now, I’ve surrounded myself with some of the best friends I could ask death2for. I don’t need numbers because a more then a handful is a waste and I feel like I have a handful of great people I know I can count on. THE ONES that won’t just ask me how I’m doing because they feel they have too but the ones who are there every step of the way and are there even if I don’t want anyone around.

I have one of the tightest families around the type of family who will be out for blood if you try and hurt one of their own.

I have a boyfriend who is not only someone that I love but he IS MY best friend, and my soul mate. After all this time I’m glad to say that hard work and sometimes letting go the things you love are worth the end result. I’m lucky to have that because what we have does not happen often and I’m glad I was one of those people who found that sort of thing. 

SO if something were to happen to me tomorrow I know that I’ve done everything I’ve wanted to do up to this point in my life. Life isn’t something you get a book on, its something you create, something you experience, and something you make the most of. My life may not seem that accomplished to most, but the stories that I have to go with the journey I’ve walked thus far would blow your mind. 

Like I said to  my mom, I’m not sure I would want a HUGE deal made out of me leaving, because in all honesty I feel like if I pass away its just me breaking free of the body I was born into. I’m still going to be around making sure people I love are taken care of. I will be around to watch over them and I will make my presence known. 

death6I wouldn’t want some sappy song with pictures of me as a tribute I would expect my dad and Steven to go through my hard drive and really find the videos that would remind people of me. The ones of me farting, or saying some of the stupidest things ever. I mean if you have watched ANY of my vlogs you would totally know what I mean. I know its hard not to cry at a funeral BUT I would hope that people would be able to one up each other on some of the stupid things I’ve said or did and have a chuckle about it.

I’ve wondered what people would say about me when I’m gone. I mean a lot of people had a lot to say about Michael Jackson when he was alive… nothing really positive but when he died it was a different story for the most part. It’s crazy how people are sometimes. 

I would only want the people who sincerely want to help embrace the life I’ve lived to be there, I wouldn’t want the people who thought we were close to be there. If you can’t say you’ve even said so much as “HI” to me in the last five years then I’m pretty sure you don’t need to take up space at the funeral home for those people who actually want to be there. 

I’m not sure I would want flowers, but if I did I would want them to go to some of the sick kids/ and people at the hospital because maybe the flowers could brighten their day. If I could I would want to donate my eyes to someone who still hasn’t seen the world, my heart to someone who has a lot of love to give, but that would be something I would want to talk over with my parents/spouse. I know that most Italians (maybe europeans) want to be in a wall, as much as that would be a great thing I’ve always been the out doors type, love to hike, love to have that breeze on my face the sun on my skin so I only think its right to be outside too. BUT I wouldn’t want those big green bushes around my stone… I don’t want to be hidden and hard to find. I want to have a bench so anyone who comes to see me can sit and relax and have a chat. 

I’m so thankful that I wake up everyday and not worry about if I will make it to see another day and when I hear people complain about death1everything under the sun I feel like saying SOMEWHERE out there someone has it worse then you SO SUCK IT UP at the end of the day is it really “world ending?” 

I think people take for granted when tomorrow comes, I know when I leave someone I love I tell them I love them, I  make sure I’m on good terms when I leave a place. Sounds stupid but you never know if that is the last time your going to talk to someone, SO WHY leave mad? I don’t want anyone stressing over what they should have done or said I just want them to know its all good and it’s not their fault. 

If you think your live is so bad.. change it and surround yourself with what makes you happy, because I can tell you NO one will do that for you and like I said there are some people who aren’t as fortunate as you. Remember that next time life doesn’t go your way. 



~ by Christina Sears on January 12, 2013.

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