Thankful 4 the Here & Now

The Family Glue!

Oh Thanksgiving how you make me feel like such a fat kid at the end of the day! BUT its always great getting together with the fam jam. I remember before my grandfather passed away and before my nonna sold her house we would all cram together in her old house on Cheever street elbow to elbow in the living room/dining room. Although some of us were at different tables it totally felt like just one big table, my Nonna would serve the food (hardly ever want to sit and eat, just being a nonna) and we would eat a great meal that she would cook. 

We are all grown up now, some all graduated high school, some in college, some finished college, some married, others getting married. Today my Zia Grace looked at the long table filled with all 30 or so of us, and said “look at what Babbo and Nonna have created” and its true. They have truly built a strong, driven family who enjoy the company of each other, who are crazy in their own little ways but when the dust clears would be there at the drop of a dime for one another.

I guess I consider myself lucky that I have a family that will UNCONDITIONALLY love me regardless of my choices and my paths in life. I know personally it got rocky there for a bit, and although at the time they DID not like the man I was with, they still showed their support. They obviously didn’t sugar coat anything, they tried to tell me how they felt in hopes to help me see clearly and because they love me enough to tell me how they feel. My Nonna took me a side as we sat down beside my grandfathers bed side in Emerge at the General Hospital (that dreadful week we knew he wasn’t coming home), and she said to me that NO one liked my grandfather, her family hated the fact she was dating this womanizer, and really gave her a hard time about it. She told me how she came to Canada, and how she went against her parents and married this man. 

She told me that it doesn’t matter what people think if you love someone you love them and you can’t help who you love you just do. And that as long as I WAS truly happy it really doesn’t matter what anyone else can say. Her words came at a time where she obviously could see right through the front that I’ve tried to put up in the years Steven and I weren’t together. THEN 3 years ago we were talking in her kitchen, she had knew I wasn’t seeing anyone but there was always Steve, he was always around, always beside me when I needed him and never really was out of my life. I can’t remember how we got on the topic but she said to me “it’s Steve, isn’t it?” I wasn’t sure what she meant by that so I asked her what she meant and she said (in her broken but decent english for someone who taught herself) that it’s always been Steve. Of course that topic of him, one I never really discussed even to my closest of friends just struck a sensitive cord and I started to tear up and pretty much ball in front of her. She assured me that if it’s suppose to happen it will…

My grandmother maybe old fashioned but she definitely is a strong glue that holds this family together, she’s really molded us and has taught us a lot and for that I am truly thankful. Thanksgiving is suppose to be a day of thanks, and I mean although I’m not satisfied in where I stand right now in my own life, I am pretty happy that I have a family that is so full of life and together, one that doesn’t judge or criticize (but does look out for one another). I am thankful to have parents that have guided me when I needed it, and although I’m sure I didn’t make some great choices supported me in whatever it was that i was doing, and just let me fall if I needed to fall but helped me up once I hit the bottom. I have a great boyfriend who regardless of what terms we were on has been beside me the entire time. He’s helped me develop this great back bone and thick skin and even in the worst of times managed to find his way to me as I did to him. I’m truly looking forward to our future and I’m thankful that both of us were strong enough to push through life and beat the odds. I mean, we could have easily said “fuck it”! BUT here we are, and if ANYONE reading this remembers 6 yrs ago he wasn’t even a though in my mind (as I probably wasn’t in his). It was too impossible to think that one day we would be here, but we are and we owe that to us pushing forward and just taking it as it comes. We figured it out together and its true if it’s meant to be it definitely will happen. We are a prime example of that. 

Sitting around that dinner table today, made me thankful that my family is as close as it is, some people have never had that and don’t even know what a close family feels like. Some families are just forever down each others throats just judging and writing people off, and hold grudges. AT LEAST with my family if for whatever reason we are upset with each other there is no whispers behind each others backs, we say what we have to say and put it on the table and then at the end of the say we are sipping on espresso and its like nothings happened. You work it out, if you can’t work it out with family and be yourself around your family WHO ELSE DO YOU HAVE?!

I’m thankful that I’ve been blessed with some pretty awesome friends. Friends who have helped me weed out the fakes and drama. The one’s who don’t complain about anything and just have fun, enjoy life, and work hard everyday. ALL of them I admire in their own way (they know who they are)! I love them unconditionally and they know that. If your sitting there smiling nodding your head you know your one! 

I may not have my career job (YET), I may not be engaged, or have a house BUT what I can say is that I know I’m on the right track and I’M THANKFUL that I have this amazing support system that will be there every step of the way!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone



~ by Christina Sears on October 7, 2012.

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