“Friend-a-mies” is a cute new term from the new Adam Sandler movie “Just go With it” which I saw recently. In recent weeks I’ve been in a few different position (NO perv not those positions), but positions where I had friends doubting me, doubting what I am about and put me in a position where I had to “justify” myself to them.

I’m one of those people who when it comes to my friends I will do everything possible to be there for them for whatever I can. If I can’t help them I will try and find someone who can its as simple as that.

After I heard that term “Friend-a-mies” I started to think about my black berry messenger, twitter, facebook etc… I have A LOT of people on all of those I don’t talk to, MOST “claiming” to be my friend but pretty much 95 percent of them really just want to creep and see what I’m up too. I mean everyone is guilty of that at some point for their own reasons, and I have no problem with the creeping part I would NEVER put something up there if I didn’t want people to know or read about it. BUT I have a problem with it when they sit there and sort of twist it around on me. Something simple twisted into this shit bomb. THAT’S where I got fed up and decided out of my 700 friends on facebook SOME will have to be cut from the team.

I cut people I never talk to almost never, not even a comment of any sort. I cut people who were more of aqantences  then friends, AND I especially cut people who just have me on their so their “hater” friend can snoop and try and find evidence for whatever drama skit they are thinking of next.

Just around my birthday I had a friend of mine’s FIANCE think something was going on between us because of a miscommunication, and I don’t think enough people these days CALL other people out on little things, they would just assume the worst and make things up in their head that AREN’T even going on. Few days after that another friend of mine made me feel like I had to justify why I deleted his girlfriend off of one of my social networks. I mean the girl doesn’t talk to me, I truly feel like since he refuses to delete me off anything like other girls she’s got to worry about me. And wants to keep tabs on me. Did I call her on it NOPE because I don’t know her all that well, she was suppose to talk to me bout how to feel better about herself, but she hasn’t but I wasn’t a complete douche I kept the facebook door open for her to grow a pair and talk to me about it. But when it comes to my phone I really only want people on there whom I am really close with and talk to almost all the time, seeing how its one of the items I keep close to me when I go places for the specific purpose to keep in touch with those very close to me. I didn’t really think it was a big deal? It was drilled into me that I was being defensive about it but I wasn’t because at the end of the day its not something that is going to effect me greatly.

TO set the record straight for both girls if they are reading this since neither really wanna talk to me about their insecurities, I AM, and WILL ONLY BE FRIENDS with your man. One of them I just see at the gym here and there, we have that in common, he helps me with my upper body strength with certain work outs he knows and I help him with his lifting form.  He’s someone I talk to and joke with during cardio that’s about it. You’ve got the expensive rock on your finger, if he didn’t love you I’m sure it wouldn’t be there. The other girl needs to know that her boyfriend and I have known each other for YEARS now, and in THOSE years I have been the person he could talk to, and vent too. THAT’s IT, and if your insecure with yourself and you feel like how can he like/love someone like you then you gotta look within yourself because its an internal problem with you. He obviously likes/loves something or a lot of things about you because if he didn’t you’d get the bit F.U believe me. Gurlie you have to LOVE YOU before you can allow anyone to LOVE YOU. I’ve been there, and its not easy and it starts with you… the person who is with you can only reassure you and be there for you, YOU have to do all the work yourself.

Honestly, I’ve been through a lot with certain people in my life which added to the layers of thick skin that I have developed.

I’ve had best friends when I was a teenager go after the guys I was crushing on, BAD GIRL CODE to say the least.

I’ve had friends who got addicted to drugs and I had to watch them slowly destroying their lives and stand there and just try and help them out of it.

I’ve had one of my best friends growing up commit suicide, and go through not being able to say my last goodbyes or even help her before she got to that point.

I’ve had people ACCUSE me of being a home wrecker. WHEN they spent x-amount of years hating me for things that they took way out of context. THEN when I finally grab my balls and think to myself “better to be friends then enemies” she assumes I’m playing both sides and disregards the fact that I WAS ONE OF THE ONLY PEOPLE THERE FOR HER. WHEN IN REALITY AFTER EVERYTHING SHE PUT ME THROUGH I SHOUDL HAVE WALKED AWAY.

I’ve had people call me fake, and maybe I am a little fake, but I’m fake in the sense where I would rather save face if you rub me the wrong way until you disrespect me. If you do nothing to me yet you rub me the wrong way HOW am I allowed to just treat you like shit? I’m not its wrong and that’s not how I was brought up… UNTIL you give me a reason I’m going to treat you the way you treat me regardless if you rub me the wrong way.

I’ve had partners of my guy/girl friends hate me because they do something wrong, get caught and instead of taking their side I take the side of my friend. If you were in the right and my friend was in the wrong I would tell them, but when your doing what your doing HOW can you get mad at me for mentioning what I saw and having them PIECE it together. Grow a pair and take responsibility for what your doing.

I was just sick of the “friend-a-mies” that were around me, the people who are pretend, I don’t need anymore enemies I have enough friends (as the saying goes). I’ve been through enough to see through people, I’m very good at my fronts until i get to know someone. I never go what people say EVEN THOUGH maybe I should I like to read the book myself instead of judging its cover. I’ve been burned my fair share of that but at least at the end of the day i tested the waters to see what you were about on my own, I SHOWED YOU that much respect.

I know the people who I can call my BEST FRIENDS, the ones I know are so committed to our friendship that in itself is very reassuring. THEY have been there for me and continue to be there for me AS I HAVE THEM.

I don’t have to give a shout out to them all, because reading this they know who they are, they feel the reach out right now… I want to thank you for NOT being a “friend-a-mie” for being you for loving me for me and for being very true to me. I appreciate you walking beside me and not behind me, I appreciate you stabbing me in the front and setting stuff straight, AND I appreciate you keep your eyes out and ears open for people who come into my life with bad intentions. Thank you for helping me up and making me strong.

I cut a lot of people out of my life this year, even some I’ve known my entire life…

DO you know who YOUR true friends are?



~ by Christina Sears on February 26, 2011.

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