“The Fight”


I came across this little something I wrote August 8 2007, almost a year ago. I was obviously going through something hard and over came it but this is the best way to describe how I’m feeling…I dont usually re-read things I write, BUT after reading this… I thought I would share it with ya’ll!

“THE FIGHT”

I walk into the fight, and feel like maybe people can see right through me. Your tough, your ready, you know what you want as the outcome and your going to fight for it. Your going to bleed for it, your going to swell, and your going to go the rounds punch after punch, climbing the constant obsticals that are put in front of you.

I see my opponent across the cage, he’s staring right into my eyes, staring deep, only when I stare back I don’t know what he’s thinking or whats going through his mind. A person you’ve been best friends with, a person you loved with all your heart, and here you are on the battle grounds waiting for your fight.

Round One, the fight began, back and forth it goes, throwing everything I’ve got, pouring my heart into it… the response is cold but hard…. the trama that is being done to not only to my head but to my heart. “how much more do I want to take, is this fight worth it..” i think to myself as i return the blows one by one… at the end of the first round my head is all over the place… my heart… maybe broken… I’m not tired, but i’m hurt…

I sit in my corner, holding back the tears, I don’t want to show that I’m having a weak moment, I don’t want to show that I am hurt.

Round Two, things are heated more then round one, i can see he’s fustrated, I can see maybe he cares about hurting someone he’s close to, but those are only observations, assumptions, i mean my head is a mess, at this point I would think anything to make the blows less cold, less hurtful. He comes at me, i can’t process anything that is happening, I feel like I’m in a locked room screaming, fighting my heart out, and everything i fight for just bounces off and doesn’t have any kind of effect, i feel trapped. He backs me into a corner, throwing a combo that i had thrown before, to throw it in my face, and it just hurts more, I got a cut, and its deep.

I again go to my corner, worrying that this fight means nothing to him, seeing him staring deep into me, cold, bitter, not knowing what he wants, or maybe why he’s fighting. My cut is deep, I’m worried that its going to be a huge problem, a cut that is in a place that it will re-open if hit hard enough, regardless of how strong i am the cut… will never fully recover.

Round three, I don’t think that i can handle it. I’m cut, I’m hurt, and I don’t think what I’m fighting for is worth it anymore. Its not work looking into eyes that use to be warm and seeing the cold glare come off of them, this corner i’m backed into, looks all to familiar and I can’t get out of it. When I try my heart begins to speak, begins to fight harder… it seems to think that if i have faith, if i have this heart.. that what I’m fighting for will realize its not who can delivier the biggest blow, its who can stand there toe to toe, together, taking on the blows together. I start to panic, i can feel that I’m losing.

I sit in my corner at the end of round one, thinking… thinking about how once upon a time I didn’t know who i would get through anything with out my world, my heart…. my soul, my friend…. I mean how do you live? breathe? without someone like that? I stand up, and go to the middle of the ring ready to touch gloves for the last time, the last round.

And as we move back ready to go at it again, I realize its not worth it, i don’t need to fight and throw blows to show him what I feel…. So I throw in the towel, this isn’t my fight, the cut will not fully heal, BUT i refuse to stay hurt, and beaten up. When you have a friend like this… you don’t want to be in the middle of the cage standing head to head against each other, you want to be on the same side looking at the fight with life beside each other, taking it on round by round, hit by hit TOGETHER…. Someone once said… NO ONE will hit harder then life… and life has its twisty combos, and hurtful things, and deep cuts… BUT life will not throw you a friend as a partner, a best friend to use against it… Life throws you a bunch of fakes, that you will have to dodge through until you find him.. the best friend, the corner man of your fights…

I looked back on the fight we had, and realize it was for nothing… because at the end of the day… It doesn’t change the fact… He’s my best friend. And when I declared that it meant that no fight… no cut… nothing.. will change that… Regardless of how bloody it is, or how bad it hurts…

By: Christina Sears

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~ by Christina Sears on July 24, 2009.

One Response to ““The Fight””

  1. Awesome!!!

    Like

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