Frustrated… and Quit…


I took the weekend off training this past weekend and decided to go away, no where far but enough to clear my head and what not. After the death of my grandfather and finding out that the Reno tourney is probably a no go for me (because there will be NO GIRLS) I’ve kind have lost the fire that lit the flame under my ass to get me going.

I took a trip to Ottawa, it was pretty interesting and there, the last time I was there it was for a grappling tourney (and I got knocked out which is another story)!

I didn’t have enough time last time I was there to really walk around and look at things. SO I really wanted to do that this time around. The buildings are really tall and really old looking, most of them looking like castles!

Down in the Market, which is this huge place full of stores, restaurants, and interesting people I made sure I ate at restaurants that were different, I wanted to try a lot of different things. Had dinner with some friends I haven’t seen in awhile!

Its been very hard to get my mind set back to training like I was before, at least I wanted to go and get destroyed with the crossfit work outs and what not, and now…  I can’t even get myself to walk into the gym! I think I’m emotionally burnt out. Because physically I know I can still do it, but my mind and heart isn’t there.

I went to Cutting Edge today, and took a look at the new gym. I’m pretty happy for Bryan because he’s got a good club and he runs a tight ship and I’m sure the new gym will have just as much blood sweat and tears in it from these fighters then the last one.

We went early around 2:30ish in the afternoon, I didn’t train then… I wasn’t really in a hurry to get back on the mats. But Coach Marini and “Sticker” Steve rolled with Edge! Marini has a fight coming up next week so this is his last week of hard training.  But I watched, Edge is really good to watch he’s pretty slick and he’s a small guy so I know that I can learn a lot from him and what not. Steve and Coach Marini helped Edge put up some mats after they were done and I was sort of ready to go for tonight’s training there.

BUT Coach Marini’s car died so we didn’t make it out to Edges; however I still did somewhat of a crossfit work out at his house.

We did three, three minute rounds of:

3 cleans (I had 60lbs weight)

6 push ups

9 body weight squats

And you do it as many times as you can for 3 minutes then rest for a minute and continue. We didn’t do five like it says to do because I knew I wanted to try and spar and get in some extra time doing that! USUALLY I can’t spar with Marini, I don’t know why but I get even more frustrated and can’t be bothered but I thought I would just go a head and do it anyways.

I could feel that I wasn’t myself, I was squaring myself up (which is a no no), I wasn’t aggressive, and I wasn’t throwing as many punches. I wasn’t timing anything and I was just getting frustrated… BUT I made sure I still stuck through it, because I might have an opponent who frustrates me and I have to learn to keep a cool head and push through it.  Although that’s not what happened and I ended up getting punched at enough to just quit, it will take time to develop that cool head I think.

**COACH MARINI & I SPARRING: you can hear the frustration, and see it… in the way i move… but he didn’t let me just give up…**

Maybe Thursday’s crossfit will be a bit better training, maybe I’ll be fine to go in there by then and then mma and boxing the rest of this weekend. We will see!

Christina

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~ by Christina Sears on September 16, 2008.

One Response to “Frustrated… and Quit…”

  1. Hang in there Christina. In all my years if it’s the only thing I’ve ever learned is, it’s to face your feelings head on. This too shall pass. I wish I had some words of wisdom for you but I don’t. My prayers are with you at this trying time. Hugs and kisses

    Like

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